Okay, so when I go into the asexual tag, I often see long posts where an asexual will explain that they don’t desire sex, but if they love so-and-so, they will compromise and have sex with them. I also see posts where people express extreme revulsion at anything involving sex. So here are my…
Lots of people have discussed the last two points nicely, but I thought I’d weigh in on compromise. It’s not the best word, I feel, to describe how my relationship with a non-asexual partner plays out, because most people (like you) pick up on the potentially negative implications. For me, being asexual means I don’t experience sexual attraction, and that’s it. As far as this informs my behaviour, for me it means I don’t think about sex. However, my partner does. So him mentioning it to me isn’t him saying “Hey, how about we do this thing you don’t like?” it’s more of a “Hey, there’s this thing I like, and I know it doesn’t always occur to you…” and my response is a “Oh yeah! People do that! And apparently it’s fun, we could try if you want?”
So basically, whilst I have no sexual attraction to him, and, if left single I would never even think about sex, whilst he’s there and he is doing, it becomes a part of something in my relationship - and, since I have nothing against it (I’m not repulsed), it’s not a chore or a difficulty for me, it’s just something that might be fun that I don’t really care either way about. Like, I don’t really care if I get to go to a themepark (and I’ll never go of my own accord), but hey, if someone takes me, I’ll have a great time.
Obviously, that’s not the best metaphor, and obviously, this response will vary from person to person and relationship to relationship - from my totally okay with it to no never not at all. Then again, things to do with sex vary just as much among people who aren’t asexual in terms of what people are willing to do and how often.
Hope that helped you understand how some of us might mean the word ‘compromise’ :)